AMEN! Speak on it brotha…
Tony Gaskins has been on Oprah, and is a motivational speaker. He also blogs about relationships about both man and women. Today he focuses on why Ladies don’t have a man. According to Tony, you may be TOO independent for your own good.
Ladies, before you wrinkle your mouth ‘cuz you mad…pay attention to what he’s saying to YOU…after the jump!
The Independent Woman (Epidemic). For those of you that may not know the meaning of epidemic it’s a widespread outbreak of an infectious disease. Yes, I said it, DISEASE. It’s ok and it’s respectable for a woman to have her own money, house, and car, but it’s a problem when it becomes a defense mechanism. At that point it almost takes psychiatry to fix a woman. The true essence of being an independent woman has been lost, and I hope that soon it can be found.
When it was right women were independent because they had to be. It was a backup plan, it was that strength in adversity or survival of the fittest type thing. Women who were left by a man, or became a widow or just never found a man that would respect her mind and her body so she had to be independent. Women knew that it was a means to an end, and they kept the hope alive. They weren’t complacent, they were hopeful. They didn’t show it off or flaunt it, they were independent because that’s what life threw at them. At a moments notice though, had the right man came along they would have left that independence alone and became one with that man.
What went wrong? Women started getting complacent, and lost the hope. Or they out of weakness tried to cover up that void in their life and invented the phrase, “I don’t need a man.” That phrase was the death of all hope of ever attracting a man.
A man doesn’t want you to be weak and needy, but he does want you to be humble enough to let him feel needed. If you can do it all on your won and you don’t want or need any help, then what is he there for? Men aren’t accessories like you collect while you’re single and balling. Men are like the actual garment, they want to be needed as if without them, you would be naked. Right here the bitter women, or the ones that have accepted this mantra, “I don’t need a man”, are really going off on me in their head. Hold up real quick….
Recondition your mind! Realize that God didn’t make Adam or Eve to be alone, but to be together. Understand what a real relationship consist of and know your role, men and women inside of that relationship. It’s not for either party to be an accessory, or disposable. It’s not for either party to be the dictator or tyrant. It’s not for either party to come in and complete the other, but for both parties to come in and complement one another. Know where you stand. If you are a single and successful woman don’t accept that as your lifetime purpose, know that it’s just a season and prepare yourself to be found by your groom. I heard that Beyonce was supposed to be doing way with the single ladies theme, so if that’s true you do it too! Don’t condition your mind so that you block your blessing. Be open to love and to marriage. When a good man comes into your life, let him be the man. Let him help out and provide, and give him room to do so. I’m not saying that you should shrink or belittle yourself, but find a man that fits you a man that has enough swagger and confidence to feel like a man with a woman like you. Remember that your thoughts determine your actions, and your actions determine your results. So be careful how you tell yourself and what you are putting out into the atmosphere because that’s exactly what you will attract.
-Tony A. Gaskins Jr. |Follow Me@tonygaskins
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